Hmmm

So i havent posted for quite a while and its bc i havent really had much to
Say.. I have been trying to get back into the good-high-school-student mindset, but its just not working... I dont really care about school bc i dont find it worthwhile and it just stresses me out. Not to menttion, i cant avert my full attention to anything much less trying to do a million things for hework. I just dont see the point anymore. I applied for an alternative school today and im hoping that i will get in soon so i can have a chance at a new start. At this point, i feel it is my only option if i want to graduatE. The only thing stopping me from completely dropping out of high school is what my teachers and counselors, family and peers will think of me if i do. I wish i could do something for me. I wish my life wasnt consumed with what i think others think or feel about my situation. Not that i have asked any of them. I want to get into this program because i think it will give me a chance to get back on track and start over fresh. I wont have to worry about what my teachers know about my past and i can allow myself to take this opportunity and run with it.
Im struggling a lot with my body image right now. I feel absolutely huge and i feel the need to get back in my eating disorder. At least i can control this. It feels as if even school is out of my control since i cant seem to concentrate on anything for more than 10-15 minutes. Im not sure i have much more to say.... Ill try to think of something else and post later... Bye