so, i am at a loss for words right now. i am thinking words, but I'm scared that my words will be triggering. i don't know where else to go to say this so i am just going to come here. i keep taking pictures of myself and i look absolutely HUGE in all of them. there are a couple of them that i have to put on a public website and i cant stand the sight of them.. i feel like I'm losing it. like recovery isn't the best thing for me right now because all it is doing is making me fatter than i was. is it supposed to be like this? ed is screaming at me right now. i think i need to let him talk. i cant keep it in anymore.
you are huge.
you are a failure for eating lunch today.
if you keep eating, you will never be skinny enough.
you will never be perfect.
i hate you.
Keep staring at this picture
it clearly shows how fat you are
your arms, your stomach, your face.
everybody hates you.
your not smart.
you never will be good enough.
you dont deserve ann.
you dont deserve food.
you dont deserve ANYTHING.
dont cry now.
if you cry, your weak.
you cant be weak.
ever.
FAT.
FAT.
FAT.
FAT.
all you will ever be is FAT.
I love you. You are so strong and so amazing. I know and you know how great and amazing you are. Ed is just an ass who is holding you down and beating you up. Ed is a liar.
ReplyDeleteYou are so beautiful.
You keep me on recovery EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
We both are deserving of each other.
This will pass, honey. Just hang on tightly to Healthy Chelsea. I promise that recovery is worth it! Your life is worth it! You are worthy of recovery!