poetry 1.. (could be triggering)

Ana

I was happy and felt okay

but that was never meant to stay

i had no friends even though i tried

especially when she came inside

-

she made her nest inside my head

and changed the way i felt inside

i began to hate the way i look

drastic measures i then took

-

i began to starve

all the time

eating just felt like a crime

-

the numbers on the scale went down

but all she ever did was frown

she told me that it wasnt good

and that i need to refuse food

-

i tried again, i tried my best

but yet again, she would not rest

she yelled and screamed inside my head

she said i wasnt to be fed

-

so there it goes;

i just dont eat.

but that's all too bittersweet.

The Other Side of 'Ana'she tells me not to eat at all

but somehow, i have to stall

i try to eat, i try oncemore

this it seems, is lame for sure.

-

i turn around and think again

"i could die, this CANNOT win"

for letting it would be a sin!

she tells me that im getting fat

and i should be over that.

-

she tells me that ill be no good

although i know that i need food.

i have to fight i have to try

even when it makes me cry

i do not know when this will end

but for now, i will defend.