Update, confusion, rambling...

It's funny to me that I can be okay without Ed for a few days, and then somewhere it just pops back into my head and it's like it never went away. In the past few weeks I have been able to go to a rangers game with my boyfriend with only a slight temptation to purge and was able to eat whatever I wanted, when i wanted. Somehow though, the number on the scale can be the same for days and will be okay, and then the next minute it's no longer acceptable. Yesterday, my cousin came in my room and said "Chelsea, do you still have bulimia? I was just wondering because you have been eating okay lately and I havent heard you throwing up lately" and all the sudden it all came back. The obsession about what my hip measurement, calorie consumption , an number on the scale was all I could think about. How does a person go from being able to eat without a lot of guilt to not being able to eat anything without having to write it down or count it? I hope I'll someday know....