4 months and 13 days since my mom died. 2 months and 27 days since i found out my dad was doing things not only to me, but to my sister that no dad should do. 2 months 27 days since ive seen anyone in that side of the family. This makes me sad to think about. Its like they are family to me, but i may not ever be family to them again all because i spoke up about things that happened to me for once in my life. My cousin says that they might come around and start wanting to be in my life again but she doesnt know them like i do. She didnt see my 14 yr old sisters face when her big sister came out and screamed at me telling me that i didnt deserve my prom dress .. or that i am just a big liar and that my dad didnt do anything to us. Or maybe she did. i dont know how anyone can possibly understand how i feel. yes, i know people with similar history. Yes i know that a whole lot of people have gone through what i have but it doesnt seem to add up. i dont know what im saying, really... except that i miss my family. despite what they do to me, i still think of them as family and i dont think that will ever change. i dont know whether to just stop caring and get over it, or just try little by little to do as much as i can to get them to let up. i dont know.
